Turning 31

So Ronnie is turning 13, and I'm turning 31.  He's becoming a teenager, and I want to go back and act like one.   Its almost harder to swallow 31 than 30, as I didn't feel 30 way back then last year.   Damn, was 1977 really that long ago? Whoa what a difference a year makes.  To my many friends, thanks for always keeping things cool, and helping me forget I'm falling apart and rusting up.  For anybody who cares, Saturday we are going to blow it out on the lake, and around town, so Holla at ya boy so we can ALL kick it.

I used to drive one of these...yeah it was the best

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..> ..> ..> ..> Britain's sexiest car - the Volvo Estate! The Volvo Estate has cast aside its boring image - by being voted the best car for having sex in the back seat. It turns out the car has actually seen more action than any other - largely thanks to the extra space, according to a new survey. And there was a boost for the white van man with the multi-purpose Mercedes Benz Sprinter Van in second place. The survey of 4,000 people for yesinsurance.co.uk put the VW Camper van in third place, the BMW 3 Series Saloon in fourth and the Ford Escort in fifth. According the pollsters, some 68% of people have had sex in a car and one in 10 say they had even got fruity while driving. Six per cent said they had damaged their vehicles while getting busy - but only one in 100 of these were bold enough to claim on their insurance. A yesinsurance.co.uk spokesman said: "It would seem that space is the most important issue for couples who want to enjoy themselves." Meanwhile, another survey found that more than a million motorists think about sex rather than the road ahead. Research from car insurer More Than found one in five drivers admit to concentrating behind the wheel less than 75% of the time, with 1.2 million thinking mostly about sex. For 3.2 million drivers work was the main focus and for 2 million more it was family issues that dominated. .. Story filed: 10:18 Thursday 5th October 2006 -->

random internet findings

 Angels' Colon unlikely to be ready by Opening Day 

Ok so this is a link I found while on my Gmail account.......it's to ESPN.com.....should send this in to Jay Leno's Headlines or something......

Leisure Time

If there ever is a time where my whereabouts are unknown, let it be known that I can probably be found at Capone's at the Ohio Club. 

Leisure Time

If there ever is a time where my whereabouts are unknown, let it be known that I can probably be found at Capone's at the Ohio Club. 

Leisure Time

If there ever is a time where my whereabouts are unknown, let it be known that I can probably be found at Capone's at the Ohio Club. 

Leisure Time

If there ever is a time where my whereabouts are unknown, let it be known that I can probably be found at Capone's at the Ohio Club. 

driving 101

ok so lets get the basics down....you may have a license...but do you have any common sense?

you signal briefly for lane changes...before you change lanes

you signal 300 ft ahead of your turns......not as your turning (damn that white camry)

should you forget to signal.....it happens...but dont drive with the signal on for 8 miles later on that week to make up for it

you can turn left on a green light if no cars are coming.....and you can turn right after stopping if no cars are coming.........and if there's two lanes to turn into...stay in the one your in moron....you dont get them both....

dont stop on the on-ramp to a freeway....especially at the end...just over a hill...or around a curve....or anywhere were traffic normally is moving along just fine before you came along.

if you pull out in front of someone.......with nobody behind them for miles....dont get mad when they ride your ass going 40 in a 55 for miles and miles because you see it too........always a car when the passing lane comes around and now we are stuck behind you mr. not in a hurry for anything. 

yield to dump trucks and semi trucks....if you ever get the chance to ride in one loaded down.....wait till someone pulls out in front of you......its fun trying to stop...knowing that if you do hit them it wont hurt you.....so what the hell.....HIT EM!!!!!

if you drive 10 mph slower while talking on your cell phone.......hang up pull over and kick your own ass.

if you drive the same speed as the person next to you.....and dont notice it.......please notice the line of cars behind you both progessively getting more and more pissed off....you know you use the "fast" lane for passing not for driving....look it up

if you leave just enough room between you and other traffic... you will make it impossible for anyone else to pull out....as there just isn't enough room to make it....and we know you work at making it happen.

stopping in the outside "fast" lane to let someone turn in front of you is illegal and if you cause a wreck you could be found at fault.....like the person on the inside lane driving can see the car turning...and like they can see the inside lane....but this seems to happen on a regular basis and next time it happens to me.....im pulling the @$$hole outta the car/truck whatever and make sure s/he gets what s/he's got coming....thats like setting someone up to get hurt.....really now

this is all for now......more driving instructions to come

How to clean your toilet...by Pooch

How To Clean Your Toilet


1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse."

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.



Sincerely,


The Dog

real man of genius

BUD LIGHT PRESENTS: REAL MEN OF GENIUS..."Today we salute you, Myspace addict. You thought you could just log on once, but little did you know it would consume your life. Joining one pointless group was just not enough. Adding every person you never spoke to in high school, and people you've never met who live 3000 miles away just to be "virtually" popular. As if IM wasn't enough to feed into your stalker-ish behavior. Oooo look at you with your 14393 "friends". So go ahead, crack open an ice cold BUD LIGHT, Compulsive Away Message Checker Turned Myspace Psycho. It's too bad that you're not too popular at the bar, but in virtual reality, you'd be the life of the cyber party."

this worked like a charm

So I'm haulin' ass somewhere as usual, and I pop over a lil hill, and wham...county sherriff....so I pull over...cop barely even had to move...i knew i was speeding lets get this over.....he walks up...standard yadda yadda and mentions that he's been waiting all day for someone like me.....i simply said..."well i got here as fast as i could"   after he quit laughing he gave me my license back and told me to slow down......no ticket and he got a chuckle outta that.......who says being lucky doesn't pay off.....or should i say  witty

needless

If Only Everything in Life was as Reliable as a Drew.

random thoughts

If you look carefully at the bottom of any bulletin posted you will notice the "Delete from Friends" button.........so seriously you can delete your "friend" based on the contents of ANY ONE bulletin.........must of been one of those....'you must pass this on or Tom will delete you' bulletins that I dont understand???